Gwen Artax's Blog

Allow me to begin this with: I'm going to try really REALLY hard to not compare the show to the movie, but this moment is forever embedded in my memory as one of the most romantic things a guy can ever do: Aww...

So we went and saw Blink/Fall Out Boy/P!ATD on Friday. It was a great show, my first time seeing FOB, my first seeing Blink, my first seeing FOB, but I don’t know about you, when I go to a show, I go to have fun.

Fun

–noun 1. something that provides mirth or amusement: A picnic would be fun.

2. enjoyment or playfulness: She's full of fun.

From here

But, I seem to have an old fashioned view of how one is supposed to act at a concert, so here’s the New Guide to How To Behave At Shows, conducted through careful observation.

Do not Smile:

Previously I thought that a bright broad or even slight smile was a mark of enjoyment, however, I have learned through observation at this latest show and at the Cobra show back in November with Ms Amazon and Ms Vanessa. Apparently the way one is supposed to show appreciation at a show is by standing there stone faced.

Do Not Dance:

Maybe its from some of my first shows being punk shows, and being around the excited, dancing punks, as opposed to the stand still and nod kind, but I go to a show, I expect to dance. And get sweaty, and have your make up run, and love every moment of it. This is apparently no longer acceptable behavior at a concert. I have learned that it is gauche to dance, and that proper fans stand still, no head nodding even, and cross their arms over their chest.

No Cheering:

Really, it was just the coolest of the cool kids who could pull one off. When they suspended Travis above the stage and then swung his platform around, and then it spun, and he didn’t miss a drum beat? The coolest of the cool kids were not cheering or applauding, or being impressed. They managed to effect an air of cool disconnection from the situation. This is how one is supposed to behave at a scene show now. It doesn’t matter HOW impressive someone is.

Get So Drunk You Don’t Remember It The Next Day:

This one is going to take some doing for me, since I am generally the DD, but apparently the new sober at a show so you can remember it, is so drunk you can barely stand. I saw many of the coolest kids there inebriated, which means the next time I go to see a line up of totally rockin’ bands, I don’t want to be able to remember it.

So, in conclusion, when you go to your next show, remember, no dancing, cheering, smiling or remembering the show. The cool way to enjoy a show is from the position of ether disaffection or from the bathroom from throwing up.

Is it just me or does this sound like a totally suck way to spend 40 bucks?

This is farce if you take it seriously then you need to get the humor section of your brain replaced.

"I'm rocking the suburbs/Just like Michael Jackson (sic: Quiet Riot, Bon Jovi) did/ I'm rocking the suburbs/ Except that they were talented/ I'm rocking the suburbs/ I take the checks and face the facts/ That some producer with computers/ Fixes all my shitty tracks"

Ben Folds -Rocking The Suburbs

I am sick to DEATH of people defending groups like The Millionaires using a backing track while on stage with the lamest phrase in the world:

But they'll hurt their voices

One:  What voices?  I mean really, lets be honest about this, they don't sing they talk in valley girl voices over music.

More importantly two:  No.they.won't.

Funny story:  There is this thing called Broadway.  See, on Broadway people do these things called musicals, and they sing, live, for way more than 30 min set, upwards of eight to ten times a week, more like 15 for a really popular show.  Right?  Without backing tracks.  Don't believe me?  Here:

Alright sure, I'll give you, she's a trained vocalist, she has spent years learning how to sing, but other women spend their time rocking out with out lots of vocal training, P!nk

and before anyone even THINKS about telling me "but they're dancing too!"

They are jumping around looking stupid, P!nk?  She is dancing.

Anyhow my point?  People need to stop being a talentless hack, someone who's so dependant on re-mixing that their voices are nigh unrecognizable live from their recordings as being something which is in the best interest of the artists, its not.  Its far from.  Because when you're a musician, you should be musical in some way.

The example I use ALOT is Amy Lee and James Hetfield.  Hetfield went in and did operatic training so that when they toured the Black Album (their self titled) he wouldn't blow out his voice.  Amy Lee, has operatic training as well.  And you can tell, for both of them, as much as I don't like Metalica, Hetfield has training, you can hear it, and the same with Amy Lee.  They don't use backing tracks.

Listen, when I buy a concert ticket I don't want to watch someone playing rock band, which is exactly what using a backing track is.  So stop excusing lazy vocalizing and a dependence on a producer to fix things as being ok, its not.  Where has Rock'n'Roll gone?  I mean who remembers when ZZtop was on the MTV music awards and they were faking it and the uproar it caused?  Who remembers when Nirvana freaked out the MTV people by starting "Rape Me" instead of "Lithium" at the VMA's one year?  That is rock and roll.  That is live music.

So in conclusion:  Learn to sing, learn to play, or get the fuck off my stage.

So… people forget that while I’m visually fairly preppy, I have a deep dark punk rock past which involves, amongst other things, the fact that I’ve been to more than a few shows, and participated in more than a few pits. Circle pits, mosh pits whatnot right? So I know a few things about it, and I feel the need to impart this wisdom onto people.

Tip: If you are at the outter edge of the people who are watching a band you are not in the pit. Therefore jumping on a neighbor, especially one you DON’T KNOW, is not ok.

So this douche bag with slipknot tee (I think), is at the anti-flag set, right? And he’s well outside of the pit. This is the part where you learn how to get through a crowd and get INTO the pit. This is NOT the part where you just start your own mosh pit where. But that seemed to be what he thought. And the fucker landed on me (which is where the title comes from).

This is not how to mosh.

There is a pit.  Mosh there.

Tip: Moshing is not an act of hate, it is an act of love.

So I feel like I’m going to let Chris #2, Anti-Flag’s bassist take this one, when he started the “biggest circle pit Warped Tour has ever seen” he put it succinctly “we’re going to run around in a circle really fast, and if someone else falls down we pick them up. If someone else falls down we PICK THEM UP”.

You don’t throw fists in the mosh pit, you throw your body, you don’t stomp people in the mosh people and when people fall down we PICK THEM UP.

Justin Sane, Anti Flag’s lead vocalist/guitar player had to cancel part of their tour dates because he jumped into a fight at a show and broke his collarbone. Being a douche in the pit is not moshing. Moshing is not an excuse to be needlessly violent.

I like to mosh, I haven’t in years, because the douche bags have taken over the pit. So all us old school punks, its time to take BACK the pit from these morons.

Tip: Mutual respect is very punk rock.

Back to Chris #2 when he finished up his set he made sure to tell us all to be awesome and respectful to each other. This is a constant I’ve encountered in the punk community. I’ve heard more punk leads scream at the audience for being douche bags to each other as for being pissed about the war, about poverty and about shitty beer.

Tip: Crowdsurfing This is also not a way to meet chicks.

Creepy dude offered to “help” every girl in a bikini top start crowd surfing. Fin.

Tip: Have a good.fucking.time.

Most of all this music will do lots of things, enlighten you, enliven you, educate you, but most importantly entertain you. So when you go see them have a good fucking time.

Growing up in a sort of land locked city (rivers are not the same as beaches people) I always had fantasies of what living near water must be like, especially when summer rolled around and you saw all those movies where people who lived near water had parties on the beach and what not.

So this play list is dedicated to summer and sitting next to a bonfire and having the local hottie sing to you, and a few songs where everyone can join in.

Dashboard Confessional:  Carry This Picture

Fall Out Boy:  Sugar

Bob Dylan:  Tangeled Up In Blue

Michelle Branch:  Goodbye To You

Bob Marly:  Redemption Song

Ani DiFranco:  Hour Follows Hour

John Mayer:  Love Song For No One

Jimmy Buffett:  Margaritaville

The Hush Sound: Medicine Man (ok, that guy who drums, he's in on this one)

Bill Withers:  Lean On Me

Eve 6:  Here's To The Nights

The Police:  Message In A Bottle

Sheryl Crow:  Soak Up The Sun

Barenaked Ladies:  If I Had 1,000,000 Dollars

Alright, that's MY play list, what's your's?

I know you like your Smeyer's trash, trust me, this trash is better.

Why is that? Were here are some reasons: Let's do this...

So as is often the case I might be the only person who remembers this but:

In September 2007 a girl was asked to "cover up" on a South West flight because her outfit was too racy.

Yep guys, that was deemed "too racy" for South West. 

Now, no, I'm really not reporting on this two years later.  I'm not.  But I was talking to a client today and mentioned that I'd be traveling South West and was told by her that she was also asked to "dress nicer" when traveling with them, the knee length denim skirt and dressy hoodie (you know what I mean) she was wearing was deemed "too casual" for their family friendly airline.

My point?

The way I get around the propensity of my family to be searched in air ports (we look shady) is to travel in mini skirts, flip flops and t-shirts or tank tops, right?  But if I travel dressed like that, by all accounts South West will kick me off my flight.  I had been planning on wearing a long wrap skirt of mine and a (likely too) low cut tank top.  This is how I dress when I'm running errands and need to be able to be easy in- easy out of my clothing. 

Also:  Flying into Sacramento which, according to Weather Chanel.Com is going to be hot, so that INSTANTLY makes me not want to travel in jeans.

So what's a girl to DO?  Do I risk getting kicked off the flight?  Do I dress in heavier clothing than the weather warrents.

Come on guys, I need some advice!

As an actor one must, eventually give up on modesty.

When I was in high school we had a shared male/female dressing room. The guys had a "side" as did the girls. Yea, right, cause you put a bunch of high schoolers in a room and say "don't flash one another" you're asking for trouble. So at some point I learned how to change with minimal amount of flesh showing but after a while one gives up.

Along with that, I danced for years and years, and that ALSO lends itself to a loss of modesty. Running back stage to strip off one costume while putting on another, hoping to get the change over done, and your proper shoes on, in three to five min also lends itself to forgetting modesty for efficiency.

Which is why Gwen's Rehearsal Adventure today didn't phase me.

I'm laying there, on the alter, like I'm supposed to be, and the "shroud of St Foy" is over me, and I think to myself "shit when Agatha takes this off of me, I'm going to end up flashing everyone". And I try to figure out how to prevent this, but in the end the best I could do was hope. And I was, of course, right. Agatha pulls off the sheet, and my knickers are exposed to everyone.

And I seem to be the only person who DIDN'T care. Everyone else started laughing (as did I), furthermore, at least one of the boys (the one I fancy) apparently turned bright red. And then when I get off stage I am attacked by three of my fellow cast members all apologizing.

My reaction "At least they were clean... and cute..."

Really that was sort of the point of this entry. At some point as an actor one gives up on modesty. Not to say that we're all the running around naked kind, but eventually things like that will happen. And ether you get past it, or you get worried.

I'd rather get past it.

I mean, my knickers are boy shorts, they cover more than most swim suite bottoms, and like I said, they were clean.  I now plan on wearing brightly colored ones, so that should this happen again at least everyone gets a good view.

I have noticed that there are different “kinds” of actors, every kind has their own quarks, their own strengths, their own weaknesses, whatever you want to call them. But many of us fall into one of these groups;

The Verbatim Nazi:

The verbatim Nazi is pretty much what they sound like, a guy who expects every line out of everyone else’s mouth to be totally and exactly what is in the script. And when its not he calls you on it. Ie:

The line in the script: Michel said that we’re going to Bermuda.

What comes out of your mouth: Michael told me that we’re going to Bermuda.

They say: That’s not your line.

Strength: They know their lines.

Weakness: They know your lines and everyone else's as well. Which theoretically SOUNDS great but when someone adlibs a little (or fucks up) they get all wigged out and don’t know how to adapt

Notable: There is a legend that Sir Anthony Hopkins knows his lines the second he reads the script. I don't know if he's a Nazi about otherpeople's lines.

The "What My Line" guy: 

This is sort of the opposite of the Verbatim Nazi, the What's My Line Guy or Girl is never really off book but god bless'em for trying ie:

Your Line:  I hear that we're going to Bermuda.

His line:  Yep, next week, we're staying at the sands.  It will be the perfect vacation.

He says:  Bermuda was her idea, I wanted to go to the Bahamas but she wanted to go to the sands.

Strength:  Adaptable, he/she should be totally unflappable on stage.

Weakness:  well... the lines in a play are written for a reason, and he'll never have figured that out.

Noteable:  If you're a whats my line guy in film I doubt you're STILL in film.

The understatement:

Everything he does on stage is understated.  They go for quiet anger, they go for silent seething, they go for... quiet joy.  Nothing is over the top.  ie:

Your line:  After months of trying, I'm pregnant!

His line:  Oh my god!  Really!  We're been praying for this!

His delivery (as if going to a funeral):  Really?  We've been praying for this.

Strength:  Drama.

Weakness: comedy.

Noteablel understatements:  Gwenith Paltrow.  Any actor who is described as nuanced.

The overstatement:

Everything is big.  Everything.  He enters big.  He exits big.  He has to get a laugh for everything.  He's the overstatement, he can be your best friend or your nightmare. ie:

Your line:  Hi John.

His line:  Hi Jane.

What he says:  Yowza Jane!  How totally fabulous it is to see you!  Yowza *Jumps and hugs you*.

Strength:  Funny.

Weakness:  Drama.

Noteable overstatements:  Robin Williams, Jim Carry.  If you notice the two I just mentioned have had good turns in serious roles (Good Will Hunting, The Truman Show), however, when dealing with ametures, many of them don't have the ability to tone it down.

So, IkkyG wrote a review of BrokenCyde which is, incidentally, an awful band in every sense of the word, this review spawned a discussion on rape. I've held my piece for a while, a few times in threads about the Rhianna/Chris Brown incident I've rolled my eyes in disgust and walked away from them, I have a history, I don't like flaunting it, and its not how one deals with a debate anyhow. Garnering sympathy is something that one does when one's stance is not based in logic. And I've walked away from discussions about rape for the same reason. Untill last week I went off on some kid because of the quote

But I feel like there are women out there who set themselves up to be put in that situation! This world is a dark, dirty place, and you always have to watch your back. If you act like a slut, more than likely someone will treat you like one (and the consequences are heart-breaking).

Of course, 98% of the women in this world don't deserve it, but there's that other 2% who just act like they can do no wrong and get away with anything...and then something bad happens. I'm really not trying to be a jerk here. I've just seen it happen before.

This thought is why it took so long for there to be comprehensive rape legislation. In Medieval Times it was thought that conception could only happen AFTER a female orgasm, as well as a male one, and that orgasms only came with consent. So, if a woman became pregnant after being raped, the courts would figure she consented (I don't remember where I read this, I think it was on a poster at Planned Parenthood years ago).

In Germany during the 100 Years War, if a woman became pregnant from a rape the rapist was forced to marry her, and help to pay for her children's up-bringing and care for her. Somehow this seems like an absolutely terrifying thought to me.

For years a woman was found at fault if she smiled at a guy, inviting him to rape her, so to speak. And there were little to no legal repercussions for it, and the social ones were placed on her, not him. It wasn’t until the middle of the 20th century that it became no longer admissible to bring up a girl’s sexual history as part of the legal defense in rape cases.

So what does this have to do with anything? There are people on this site who are helping to perpetuate these 12th century ideals on what is or isn’t rape. Girls who are looking at another girl, maybe one who’s had one too many, maybe one who wears a short skirt and going “she so deserved to be raped” instead of seeing her as another woman, and as part of a larger group of women who didn’t deserve it.

I approach what happened to me not from a victim or a survivor stand point. I don’t see it as something I survived. It is just another thing which happened, sure, its effected me differently than that time I accidentally dyed my hair the color of Cheetos, and it has made it as hard for me to trust men as my boyfriend when I was 20 cheating on me with everyone he met, but in a lot of ways I feel like I’ve “lived” through rape, more than I “survived”. I wasn’t stranded on a desert island, I didn’t make it out of a burning air plane alive. I had something awful happen to me, as have way too many other girls.

We are taught as young women to believe that if we educate ourselves enough that bad things will never happen. We are taught that abusers have a beer gut and that rapists will be foot ball stars or the overly nice guys in the bars we go to. Especially rapists. They will buy us drinks and slip us something, they’ll be that too charming guy who offers you a ride home, or the handsome guy who might be just too good to be true. I’m sorry, none of that is true.

Although wouldn’t it be nice if they had to wear special hats and distinctive clothing? Wouldn’t that be easier? Sure, but its never going to happen.

The thing is, girls saying things like “some people deserve it” and “if you’re too drunk its going to happen” or “girls who flirt/wear short skirts/talk to boys will so get raped” not only is sad and misogynistic, but also removes the blame from where it should be squarely placed: On the guy who raped her.

Look, I was sober when I was raped, I was wearing pants that night and had known the guy and trusted him for years, when it happened. But I’m a flirt, I wear mini skirts (some people buy shorts, some people don’t, I’m of the second kind), I can (sometimes) approach the guys I like, and I’ve been known to knock back a few. I’m also 25. Does this mean I “deserved it”. That in some way my behavior means that I shouldn’t expect the guys I’m with to treat me with respect? Because from the criteria I’ve seen on this site, I deserved to be raped, which, guys if you think that, I hope you rot in hell.

We as girls and as a society need to stop blaming girls who had it happen to them and start saying “how do we prevent this? How do we help her?”. I’m sick of being a survivor. I never wanted to be a victim. But today? I think I’ll be an advocate.