Scandals are just people forgetting their manners.

So we went and saw Blink/Fall Out Boy/P!ATD on Friday. It was a great show, my first time seeing FOB, my first seeing Blink, my first seeing FOB, but I don’t know about you, when I go to a show, I go to have fun.

Fun

–noun 1. something that provides mirth or amusement: A picnic would be fun.

2. enjoyment or playfulness: She's full of fun.

From here

But, I seem to have an old fashioned view of how one is supposed to act at a concert, so here’s the New Guide to How To Behave At Shows, conducted through careful observation.

Do not Smile:

Previously I thought that a bright broad or even slight smile was a mark of enjoyment, however, I have learned through observation at this latest show and at the Cobra show back in November with Ms Amazon and Ms Vanessa. Apparently the way one is supposed to show appreciation at a show is by standing there stone faced.

Do Not Dance:

Maybe its from some of my first shows being punk shows, and being around the excited, dancing punks, as opposed to the stand still and nod kind, but I go to a show, I expect to dance. And get sweaty, and have your make up run, and love every moment of it. This is apparently no longer acceptable behavior at a concert. I have learned that it is gauche to dance, and that proper fans stand still, no head nodding even, and cross their arms over their chest.

No Cheering:

Really, it was just the coolest of the cool kids who could pull one off. When they suspended Travis above the stage and then swung his platform around, and then it spun, and he didn’t miss a drum beat? The coolest of the cool kids were not cheering or applauding, or being impressed. They managed to effect an air of cool disconnection from the situation. This is how one is supposed to behave at a scene show now. It doesn’t matter HOW impressive someone is.

Get So Drunk You Don’t Remember It The Next Day:

This one is going to take some doing for me, since I am generally the DD, but apparently the new sober at a show so you can remember it, is so drunk you can barely stand. I saw many of the coolest kids there inebriated, which means the next time I go to see a line up of totally rockin’ bands, I don’t want to be able to remember it.

So, in conclusion, when you go to your next show, remember, no dancing, cheering, smiling or remembering the show. The cool way to enjoy a show is from the position of ether disaffection or from the bathroom from throwing up.

Is it just me or does this sound like a totally suck way to spend 40 bucks?

This is farce if you take it seriously then you need to get the humor section of your brain replaced.